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Sunday, April 29, 2012

Poop Happens!

Poop! I haz it! Some just call it shit, but here at the edge of the civilized world we refer to it as brown gold, Minnesota M, horse hockey, mule muffins, pony poo, Cook County ComPost (CCCP) and more names I can't think of off the top of my bald head. We're talkin' horse manure, a highly prized commodity in the land of, " if it ain't wet, it's rock," or in my case 28 feet of the most dense, ph5 clay you can imagine. You can make pottery out of it right straight from the ground in raw form. Combine this with an extreme desire that humans have to grow food, especially when you don't live within blocks of several giant  "if it is edible and from this planet we have it in bulk" stores. The 90 day growing season makes it even more urgent. This is the stuff I am referring to right here on the farm.
Yes, this is the locally famous Mt. Poop. People come from all over the county with trailers, pickup trucks, five gallon buckets, trash cans and other means of conveyance of this precious brown stuff. Just yesterday I had to fill three pick up loads. People want to pay me for this by product of my contented equines seen here.
I am a little reluctant to take money for this stuff as I have always believed that giving someone shit was a pleasurable task that comes as naturally as the byproduct itself. If they get insistent, and most of them do, I have them give me some of the fruits of their labors. Yesterday, for example I got a gallon of frozen cleaned wild blueberries and a pound of homemade sauerkraut. In the past I have gotten quarts of home-brewed maple syrup, bread and butter pickles, various fresh produce toward the end of the season, my driveway plowed for the winter, homemade baked goods, and many other wonderful products. All this because my equines eat. My manure spreader hasn't gotten much use for years now. I have donated a dump truck full to the community garden which got me publicly thanked on our local radio station! I am a man of stature here. The proverbial big fish in a small pond. Who ever would have thought it could happen?

In conclusion, if anyone says about me that I don't know shit, they are absolutely wrong! I have witnesses and a lot of  testimony that will show otherwise. So there!

15 comments:

idratherbeiniceland said...

A valuable commodity! You can buy compost here that is mixed with horse or chicken manure. Someone must be making money from it.

Robert the Skeptic said...

IN this part of Oregon, we have mint farms. A valuable cash crop, we have these digester trucks that scoop up the mint and process it. What is left is the non-usable part; mint compost.

The farmers sell this stuff like gangbusters... people haul off this compost in pickups to put in their gardens. As you can imagine, this compost smells WONDERFUL.

Knatolee said...

Hilarious!!! And I am jealous of your poo. I am lucky to have a neighbour who gives me a tractor bucket-load of llama/Clydesdale manure every year. I wish I had more!

Pixel Peeper said...

Your horses are beautiful! How many do you have?

And the poop for blueberries, baked goods, driveway plowed, pickles, and maple syrup sounds like an excellent trade to me!

Kelli Nørgaard said...

Best post yet!! I love it.... "if you think I don't know shit...."
I am going to use that one in the future! :-)

Cognitive Dissenter said...

Poop that makes things grow. What a concept! If only the poop that will be flying around between now and November were half as beneficial. (Why oh why do I bring everything back to politics? I need to get a life ... on a farm ... with beautiful harses ...)

Mr. Charleston said...

What a great barter. Love it. Back in my hippie days, a pile of horse poop was almost a guarantee of some fabulous meadow mushrooms... as well as the other kind.

Jono said...

IRBII, maybe this is my way to fight world hunger.

Robert, I have a couple of mint patches in the pasture. Maybe I can do something with them (other that mint juleps).

Knat, it's a wonderful product that nature supplies.

PP, thanks, seven of our own and two more that we take care of.

Kelli,most of my wisdom is way more "dom" than "wis".

CD,I'm with you on the political thing, but being this far away I can escape the harsh and embarrassing reality.

Mr. C, The "recreational mushrooms" have never shown up in the pile (damn!). We did find a nice patch of chantrelles in the woods last year, Awesome on pizza!

Pearl said...

Ahh. To give someone shit and get paid for it.

El Dorado!

Pearl

Teresa Owens said...

Yes, your horses are gems....and your "stilagshite" is impressive!

Doctor Psychobabble said...

when i was a kid, i used to play in the manure pile. ahhh, what fond memories!

Missed Periods said...

Homemade sauerkraut-- yum!

Beautiful horses.

Nina Ø said...

We have some very large and impressive mounds of dairy cattle poop on one of our country roads. Does your pile have the same aroma? PS. Keep those lovely horse pixs coming. Love them.

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

"I have always believed that giving someone shit was a pleasurable task that comes as naturally as the byproduct itself. "
Otto's Son: Giving people shit since...1989?
haha. You are outstanding in your field. Of shit.
:)
Funny.

Jono said...

Pearl, it is a gift I treasure!

T.O., They are truly wonderful animals and yeah, it is pretty impressive isn't it?.

Kendra, that is why you are so healthy as an adult.

M.P. I forgot to mention some homemade baked goods I got a couple of weeks ago.

Nina, it only smells if I open it up before it is thoroughly cooked, not as bad as cow poop, though.

Dawn, I've been giving it out since the fifties and it is pleasurable, indeed!